Stage One: Infatuation
I just got e-mail! I can’t believe it! It’s so great! Here’s my handle. Write me! Who said letter writing was dead? Were they ever wrong!
Stage Two: Clarification
It’s revolutionary. It’s life-altering. It’s shorthand. Cut to the chase. Get to the point.
Stage Three: Confusion
I have done nothing to deserve any of this:
Viagra!!!!!
Astrid would like to be added as one of your friends. XXXXXXXVideos. Add three inches to the length of your penis.
The Democratic National Committee needs you.
FW: This is funny. FW: This is hilarious. FW: Grapes and raisins toxic for dogs.
Stage Four: Disenchantment
Help! I’m drowning. I have 112 unanswered e-mail messages. I’m a writer — imagine how many unanswered messages I would have if I had a real job. I
Stage Five: Accommodation
Yes. No. No :). No :(. Can’t. No way. Maybe. Doubtful. Sorry.
Stage Six: Death
Call me.